Published on CCNMagazine.com – Ask Coach Bx
December 11, 2009
There continues to be a buzz about infidelity and why men cheat. This is not surprising after the hottest story broke in the tabloids most recently. Though I no longer watch television and very rarely know what is going on in the tabloids, nor do I have an affinity with that type of knowledge, I realize that infidelity is a hot topic that people want to discuss.
Whether standing in line at the grocery store, listening to the radio during my commute, or reading tweets about this very topic, the one burning question has consistently been, “Why did he cheat?” This question followed up by, “His wife is so pretty,” or “He is so accomplished.” If we knew the answer to that question, would it really matter? If we knew the answer, would we really accept it? If we knew the answer, would we really feel differently about how we currently perceive him? Even greater, why is it even our business at all? What could we glean from knowing the answer to that question?
Here’s my take on this: Society has taught us to judge and take things personally. Since an early age, we have been conditioned to idolize iconic figures. We worship these perceived symbols of perfection when they are at their best. Then criticize them when they fall short of our own expectations. We are quick to judge because for whatever reason we feel better when we kick others when they are down, making us the victor.
Celebrities are just as imperfect as ordinary people. They just happen to have some type of talent that appeals to people on a large scale. However, this does not make them super human. They are human beings just like you and me. We all eat, breathe, and die the same. We all have our own insecurities and our own demons to battle.
During the last keynote address I gave at my alma mater, I encouraged attendees to seek the positive messages in things, dwell on what they wanted more of in their lives, and take action. Remember “that which we are, we attract to us.” If you seek drama, you will get more drama in your life. If you focus on not wanting drama, you will get more drama in your life.
Mother Teresa said it best, “I was once asked why I don’t participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I’ll be there.” Dwell on what you want more of in life and begin living in that manner. I would never challenge anyone to do anything I wouldn’t do myself. With that, I pose this question: “Who were you today?”
To a Balanced Life,
Bernadette Xiong, “Coach Bx”