Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. –Winston Churchill
The theme that has been surfacing a lot lately in my world is “standing up for what you believe in while still remaining objective.”
Let me break down what I mean by that.
In recent weeks, I have watched business partners go from zealous to zero. I have read blog posts ranting about us vs. them. I have seen people use national tragedies as a platform to preach about their views on politics or religion.
When I first started coaching in 2008, I would have hung up my coach hat for the day and walked off stage with the sign attached, “Temporarily out of service.” Five years later, I now embrace the fact that there is no coach hat.
Today, the ideology I live by is the same ideology I work by. What has helped me to cultivate a strong community of friends and family that have my back no matter how our views differ is this simple concept.
Live By the Golden Rule
Do good for the sake of the doing and seek to understand others by meeting them where they’re at.
I’m certainly not suggesting we get all head-in-the-clouds and bird-chirping happy with each other in order to conform and cooperate with each other. Far from it. What a boring world that would be!
If we keep things real, being objective is about opening your mind regardless of the stance you take. It’s not about appealing to the masses. It’s about standing up for what you believe in where it matters most to you and not passing judgment on others for choosing their own path.
There is a misconception that you if you choose one path, that the other path is wrong. Or that you when you rule, others have to suck. Swallow your ego. To each his own. The world is abundant enough for all of us.
Having a stance while still being objective is about being able to listen attentively to others and understand where they’re coming from without internalizing their problems as your own.
The real damage occurs when you choose destructive behavior to justify the path you’re on.
For example, I used to be acquainted with someone that used the same level of intensity to promote peace and love as they did when they once led a violent and hateful past. It takes more energy to convert non-believers than to cultivate relationships with the people that already love you.
Embrace the love. Stop chasing the haters!
Choose to let go of your sob story. Choose to stop trying to fix others. Choose to stay focused on your own path. Choose to respect that others have the right to make choices that might not match your views. Choose to not take it personally when others do not agree with your views. Choose to act in spite of it.
No matter what, you always have a choice. Whether you choose to be constructive (part of the solution) or destructive (part of the problem) is where lines blur. How do you know whether your behavior and actions are constructive or destructive?
Here’s the I use:
Does what you stand for bring people together or drive them apart?
with gratitude and shin kicks,
P.S. I am so glad I did not hit publish on this before getting on my Skype meeting today. One more golden nugget I’ll leave you I just learned today during my chat with my . We talked about letting go of the deathly fear of speaking your mind. That if you “just live long enough” you’ll see how every decision you have made weaves together to bring you full circle in life.