Fall back in love with yourself and attract the life, work, and love you truly want.

Love is Pain

Love is Pain

I’ve grown up being conditioned to believe that “love is pain” and that it is surrounded by drama or conflict.

Despite that conditioned learning early on in my life, I learned to break that belief system, create my own, and not buy into the notion of love being so difficult. Relationships require hard work, consistency and perseverance, but I believe love is truly organic and seamless.

Around this time of year in 2007, I ended a quasi-relationship with a man who wanted the benefits of a relationship without committing to me. As hurt as I was at the time, I have no ill feelings towards him because the breakup became a catalyst for my transformation. As a codependent lover who didn’t believe I was good enough for a long time, I learned to fall back in love with myself in order to find more meaning and purpose in life.

When I learned to live with greater intention and take deliberate action, I began tapping into my full potential and achieving things in life I never would have fathomed could happen to me. I elaborate on this story in my first ever blog post in 2009, “Finding the Silver Lining When He’s Not That Into You,” which introduces the birth of the Shin Kicking Life Spark.

Finding Another Silver Lining When He’s Not That Into You

Yesterday was one of the toughest days I’ve experienced all year, I’m not going to lie. I reached another fork in the road that, regardless of which path I decided to take, would leave me feeling emotionally down. It’s so difficult when you look down both paths long and hard and neither choice leaves you feeling good about the outcome. Knowing that grieving would be inevitable, I decided to take the path that at least would not compromise my integrity. Maintaining my integrity has been my greatest core value that guides my decision-making in life, work and love.

During times like these you may feel inclined to suppress your feelings or have thoughts of regret because you are overcome by the emptiness you feel in your heart after a breakup. However, it’s times like these we need to recognize the silver lining in our situation and what we can glean from it to help us improve for the next time around.

I’ve reflected on my decision and as sad as the current circumstances makes me feel, even though I may not know now WHY things had to unravel as they have, I trust that one day I will understand with greater clarity. What I do know is that I am built to love hard and I will not stop loving hard. I have learned to embrace that about me and this is the reason why:

To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. – Unknown

I am very blessed and grateful for my life, my health, the people who love and support me, and those I am able to support and love in return. I am imperfect and flawed just like every other human being. But that is a beautiful thing because it means I am always learning and growing with time and experience. And I am thankful for all of my experiences, good and bad, because they have shaped me into the person I have become and will continue to evolve into.

LIFE SPARK MOMENT –> One of the greatest gifts in the world that we often take for granted is the privilege of being able to love another person and, even greater, to accept love in return.

I have had the honor and privilege of sharing this greatest gift the world calls “love” with a man whom I admire and respect immensely. That makes me smile and gives me peace of mind.

In closing, I dedicate my favorite poem to all of you, my lil Life Sparks:

The Road Not Taken – by Robert Frost

Video credit: vikastripathiindia

Photo credit: denipet

Tags: break ups, finding the silver lining, he's not that into you, life coach milwaukee, life coach wisconsin, love is pain, milwaukee life coach, the road not taken, wisconsin life coach